I’ve always had a secret desire to be on Desert Island Discs.
Not because I want to be famous, or tell my life story, but because I want to be forced to decide - once and for all - on my top eight tracks.
It will, of course, never happen. But like many music lovers, I’m a sucker for lists, and the one I’m most intrigued by is my own. I’ll give it a try at the end of this article.
I’ve often wondered, when I’ve heard the long-running programme on Radio 4, how much effort the luminaries being interviewed put into their musical choices. Not all of them sound that passionate about music.
Politicians no doubt concern themselves with the optics created by their selections. I remember in 2006 thinking that the then Leader of the Opposition David Cameron had made some quite cool choices — R.E.M., The Smiths, Radiohead, Dylan, The Killers and Pink Floyd.
But he dented that musical credibility by also throwing in Benny Hill singing “Ernie - The Fastest Milkman in the West”. It reminded him of his joyous childhood, he said.
Boris Johnson was on the show with Sue Lawley a year before Cameron. I somehow imagine him being reminded at the last minute that he had some choices to make, disarranging his blonde locks, grabbing an alphabetical anthology of music, and opening it up at “B”.
That could be why Boris gave us The Beatles, Bach, Beethoven, Brahms and Booker T and the MGs. I’m being unfair. There was also Van Morrison, The Rolling Stones and The Clash. There was not, however, “Ain’t Nothing But a House Party” by The Showstoppers.
When I worked for Sky News at Westminster I had a good rapport with the late Lib Dem Leader Charles Kennedy, mainly centred around our mutual love of David Bowie. No stranger to TV presenting, he wanted to do a programme in which he interviewed Bowie, and he promised that I could be the producer. We both knew it would never happen, but it was good to dream. And, of course, Bowie was one of Kennedy’s choices when he was cast away in 2003. He went for Young Americans.
Like Cameron, Tony Blair was interviewed as Leader of the Opposition before he ever became Prime Minister. His selections ranged from Debussy and John Williams, to Bruce Springsteen and The Beatles. If he was doing it over again all these years later, I’d advise satisfying his love of guitars in a different way to “Wishing Well” by Free.
The model Kate Moss got good marks from me for her choices, which included David Bowie, Neil Young, Soul II Soul, The Rolling Stones and The Velvet Underground. And film director Steve McQueen delivered a sensational mix of Prince, Miles Davis, Tricky, Michael Jackson, Kate Bush, Bach, The Specials and Kanye West. I set up his list on Spotify, though I confess I left out Bach.
As the programme has been running since 1942, it’s perhaps not surprising that the all- time top five “artists” are Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Schubert and Verdi. Handel’s Messiah has been played well over a hundred times. It’s only in recent times that the likes of The Beatles, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones and Frank Sinatra have begun to catch up.
And so to my list. The one that nobody care’s about except me.
It’s so hard to get down to eight tracks. I could fill the eight with Bowie and Radiohead. But here’s an attempt.
Life on Mars - David Bowie.
For the surrealist writing, the Rick Wakeman piano, the Mick Ronson string arrangement. An incredibly distinctive song for 1971 which captured so many aspects of what Bowie was about in one track. Ask me in a week, and I might just say Ashes to Ashes, Sweet Thing or Space Oddity.
Weird Fishes - Radiohead
I’m aghast that I’m not saying Karma Police, Fake Plastic Trees, Lucky, or No Surprises — but I will forever be mesmerised by this track from the “In Rainbows” album.
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
I love the sparse, industrial sound of Joy Division, e.g. Decades and She’s Lost Control. Love Will Tear Us Apart is catchier, and anticipates the sound of New Order who formed after Ian Curtis took his own life in 1980
Valerie - Amy Winehouse
I vacillate over Valerie, Back to Black, or Love is a Losing Game. It’s not the song that’s the most important - it’s the voice. That incredible voice. Amy’s problems with alcohol robbed her of her life, and the world of her amazing talent. This year she would have become a 40 year old superstar.
There is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
Johnny Marr and Morrissey collaborating to produce sheer magic. Dark lyrics about love and death combined with a sublime melody.
Safe From Harm — Massive Attack
I have to fight with myself about whether it’s Safe from Harm or Teardrop, but either way, Massive Attack are irresistible to me and I’ve seen them live multiple times.
Graceland — Paul Simon
Paul Simon is one of the greatest songwriters of all time. I have deep affection for Homeward Bound, The Boxer, and many more, but Graceland, the title track of a vibrant and joyful album released in 1986 in collaboration with brilliant South African artists, is Simon at the height of his powers.
Glory Box — Portishead
Beth Gibbons voice, the trip-hoppy scratching, the sampling of Isaac Hayes, the dreamlike atmospherics….it has it all.
There. I’ve done it! Eight tracks. But I’m feeling guilty that there’s no place for R.E.M, Marvin Gaye, Lou Reed, The Stone Roses, Oasis, Prince, Neil Young, Soul II Soul, Tricky, The Killers, The Verve, Arcade Fire, Talk Talk, Kate Bush, Goldfrapp, Aretha Franklin, The Strokes, Blur, Pulp, Beck and (early) Roxy Music.
I might yet have to change it.
It’s so difficult to come up with eight songs, that I think Martha Lane Fox had the right idea when she was on Desert Island Discs.
As the single luxury item she was allowed to choose to take to the island, she opted for a karaoke machine….
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